Read the Small Print
by superyuui
Summary: Fai has just moved here from /obscure country/, and has just met Kurogane. Neither of them realise they've known each other for years. WARNING: oneshot means ONEshot. Now has a fake ending.
1. Chapter 1

Read the Small Print

**Read the Small Print**

Fai's phone vibrated in his pocket. He glanced up at his teacher, who was lazily flipping through someone's Cosmo she'd confiscated in the last period.

He slipped the silver phone from his pocket and glanced down to read the message.

_From: Ninja-chan_

_To: Black Mage_

_Message: I heard you moved. Thanks for telling me, idiot._

Fai bit his lip to keep from grinning and checked his teacher's progress through her magazine before quickly and subtly typing a reply.

_From: Black Mage_

_To: Ninja-chan_

_Message: Aww, ninja-chan! I didn't know you cared!_

Less than a minute and the reply came.

_From: Ninja-chan_

_To: Black Mage_

_Message: I DIDN'T SAY THAT, MORON! And just answer already; my bitch of a teacher keeps giving me looks._

Fai's fingers tapped quietly over the keypad. His teacher glanced up, and he made it look like he was just tapping his pencil on the desk.

It really does pay to be ambidextrous, he thought as the thumb of his right hand pressed the send button.

X o X o X

_From: Black Mage_

_To: Dragon Ninja_

_Message: I can't talk, Ninja-chan! I'll IM you later._

Kurogane growled as he put his phone back into his pocket. Damn idiot always calling him stupid names.

He didn't even KNOW whoever Black Mage really was, and the bastard had the gall to call him such girly things! If he ever caught the guy he'd wring his skinny-

'Kuro-riiiiiiiin!'

Oh, that's right. "Black Mage" wasn't the only retard who decided to maul his name. The only thing stopping Kurogane from pounding Fai into the wall was the fact that the blonde, who had just moved from some obscure country somewhere, was in fact the son of his mother's best friend.

'Let's go to the Library, Kuro-cute! Mush, mush!'

_Mother's friend's son… mother's friend's son…_

'Why the hell do I have to take you? You have legs!' Kurogane roared, ignoring all the looks he was getting from disgruntled underclassmen, 'and why the hell do you want to go to the library?!'

Fai grabbed his arm and pulled him through the halls,

'Be_cause_, silly puppy, my internet isn't up yet and I need to email a few friends I left behind!'

'That doesn't explain why you need me to walk you there, idiot.' Kurogane grumbled, snatching his arm back from the crazy blonde and folding them across his chest.

'Don't you read the papers? Some girl got raped around here!' seeing Kurogane's doubtful expression, Fai continued, 'Can you _imagine_ the amount of rapists and paedophiles and old men called Dave who would see me and instantly drag me into the shadows to have their wicked ways?!'

Kurogane stared at him. 'You are kidding, right? Why would a rapist go for _you_?'

'Aah. That's how they operate; on the ones who think it would never happen to them. I bet that girl the other day didn't think she'd be having vodka with a side order of rape.' Fai replied, wagging a finger in Kurogane's face.

Kurogane just stared.

'Seriously, Kuro-pon; if there's something on my face, I'd rather you let me know and not just gape at me.'

'You're a moron.' Kurogane sighed, shaking his head.

X o X o X

Fai sat across from Kurogane, who had grudgingly decided he may as well go on a computer too.

As soon as he signed into the IM server, he scrolled his contact list and smiled to himself when he saw his second favourite tease-puppet was online too. (Kurogane would always be his first favourite; it was fun to tease someone online, but the results were so much more satisfying in real time.)

_Dragon Ninja: Did you take long enough getting online? So spill it. Where are you?_

_Black Mage: Always so straight to the point, aren't you, Ninja-chan?_

_Dragon Ninja: IT'S 'DRAGON NINJA', DAMNIT!_

Fai giggled to himself and started typing a reply when he heard Kurogane's voice drift over to him.

'Stop laughing to yourself, moron! People'll realise you're insane,' he hissed, sounding snappier than usual. Fai shook his head, a grin still on his face, and continued typing.

_Black Mage: I'm in Oxford. England. Heard of it?_

_Dragon Ninja: Of course I've heard of it, idiot. I live there._

_Black Mage: Waaai! Maybe we can meet?_

_Dragon Ninja: …_

_Black Mage: Ninja-chan?_

_Dragon Ninja: There's a Starbucks near the Library. On the road you go down to get to Westgate. How soon can you be there?_

Fai's heart stopped in anticipation. He never thought this would happen: he could meet Dragon Ninja…in real life! He eagerly typed his reply, practically bouncing in his seat.

_Black Mage: 45 minutes, if I'm lucky. See you there?_

_-Dragon Ninja has signed out-_

Fai grinned and jumped out of his chair, nearly forgetting to turn the computer off.

'Where the hell do you think you're going?' the older teen snapped, having just lost his game of Space Invaders. Damn blonde making him lose his concentration.

'I decided I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get something at Starbucks or Costa. Wanna come with?' he asked, shrugging his fluffy coat on. Kurogane thought for a moment before turning the computer off.

'Only if we go to Starbucks. Costa's tea tastes like crap.'

Fai giggled and, much to the taller's dismay, looped their arms together, 'Sure thing, Puppy.'

'NOT A DOG!'

X o X o X

Fai sipped his hot chocolate and looked at the clock again. It was nearly an hour since they'd gotten here, and there was no sign of his online friend.

He smirked at Kurogane, who was obviously annoyed at how long they had been here because he kept glancing at the clock too.

'Looks like you were stood up, Daddy,' he teased.

'What the hell do you mean, idiot?' he snapped in return, 'it's _your_ fault we've been here so long.'

Fai hummed and pulled out his mobile.

No New Messages.

Hmm.

He put his hot chocolate down and his thumbs flew across the keypad.

_From: Black Mage_

_To: Ninja-chan_

_Message: Where are you, silly Ninja?_

-

Kurogane's phone vibrated in his pocket and Fai looked up.

'You gonna get that?' the blonde teased, attention returning to his own phone.

Kurogane growled wordlessly and pulled his red Samsung from the inside pocket of his jacket.

_From: Black Mage_

_To: Dragon Ninja_

_Message: Where are you, silly Ninja?_

He cursed under his breath and typed a reply. Across the table, Fai picked his phone back up.

_From: Dragon Ninja_

_To: Black Mage_

_Message: I'm here. I don't know where the hell you think you are. Hurry the hell up; my tea's getting cold._

Fai glanced back at the clock.

_From: Black Mage_

_To: Ninja-chan_

_Message: Sorry, Ninja-chan! I have to go. Maybe some other time?_

'Let's get outta here, Puppy. I'm late for work,' he sighed, standing up and throwing the empty paper cup into the bin behind him. Kurogane checked the clock before agreeing.

'Who were you waiting for, anyway?'

Fai paused, looking off into space.

'No-one you know.'


	2. Fake Ending

This is what happens when you force writers to do things against their will

**This is what happens when you force writers to do things against their will.**

**They completely ruin it DD**

**Enjoy**

Fay stared down at the bit of paper on his desk.

'_This _is your mobile number?'

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. 'Yes… why?'

Fay punched a few keys into his mobile and turned the display towards his red-eyed friend. Kurogane raised an eyebrow when he recognised the number.

'You stalk me or something, foreign boy?'

Fay hit him will the Samsung, 'Look at the name, silly Kuro-_chan_!'

Kurogane did. Unbelieving, he then pulled out his own cell phone and called the one he knew as 'Black Mage,'

Fay's phone lit up and a Techno version of Banana Phone streamed from the soundbox.

Kurogane hung up and stared.

Fay grinned, 'Nice to finally meet you, Ninja-chan!'

'It's _DRAGON NINJA.' _Kurogane replied pointedly, on reflex, slapping away the hand Fay obviously expected him to shake.

'Well, this is awkward.' Fay chirped.

'You wanna go out or something?'

'Why don't we just skip straight to the making out?'

'Sure.'

Fay pounced onto Kurogane and they made out.

The End. D


End file.
